Working at a hospital right now is one of the strangest things I’ve ever experienced. It’s ominous. Like everyone is holding their breath a little. It’s inspiring. People are stepping up to help, or keep others calm, or fill jobs that they don’t normally have. It’s foreboding. Like everyone knows something is coming that they aren’t ready for. It’s serious. Healthcare workers know the potential outcomes. I’ve never witnessed new procedures and regulations put in place so quickly.
We are trying to slow this down, trying to keep people from panicking, trying to help patients and visitors and each other. Some people are angry, I’ve been yelled at. Some are terrified, I’ve seen them cry. Some are completely dismissive, they scare me. Some are doing everything they can to help us out, these I thank endlessly.
My hospital has a 1 visitor rule now. Each patient gets 1 visitor at a time. That visitor must be screened, checked in, given an armband, and be made to sanitize their hands. These are great steps. It’s a good procedure. Today, I had to tell a new grandmother that she couldn’t go right upstairs to meet her new grandchild. She had to wait for the current visitor to leave. She was crying from a combination of elation at her new grandchild, fear for her daughter in an exposed environment, and deep sadness that her grandchild had been in the world for close to an hour and they had yet to meet. She was lovely and understanding. It was weird. It seemed a bit wrong even living in the center of what we are facing. This is a shiny, positive example of one of the hard things today. I won’t share with you the gut-wrenching ones.
These new rules and procedures aren’t because we want to inconvenience you- this is making our lives and jobs ridiculously difficult- they’re to keep my 86 year old grandfather from dying of this thing. To keep you from picking it up from another visitor and passing it along to him at the grocery store before you even know that you’re sick. The people who aren’t listening, who are refusing to be kind and compassionate, who are still going to restaurants and bars and being dismissive about this, who are yelling at me because I have a new job to do, you are a bigger threat to us than COVID. The ones who are not following procedures and getting angry with healthcare workers, you are making it harder for us to stop this thing and you will regret it. It’s not a joke. People are SICK. Someone in your community will test positive. They probably already have.
We all need to think hard about what we are doing and what version of ourselves we want to see when we look back at this moment. Do you want to look back and be proud of your contribution, to know that you played your part and spread truth, compassion, kindness? Do you want to look back and know that you helped spread fear or misinformation, or that you most likely gave this virus to someone you love because you didn’t listen?
Life is going to get weirder, my job is going to get harder. Doctors and nurses and clinicians are fighting a war with an invisible enemy and not enough resources. They’re being warriors. But things are going to be fine. I know that. I think most of us do. There are enough of us who are good and kind and steadfast that we will knock this thing out and move on to a more beautiful place. The real question- the most important question- is what will happen in the meantime. What our society will become. What we will all become. Who we will all become. It’s being written and decided, by you and me. What version of yourself will you look back and see?
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