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I DON’T Want Him To Put A Ring On It

Disclaimer: this piece was written a couple of years ago. I am now engaged (I know, I know) but I still believe in the purpose of this post and still have no wedding plans until I have that degree.Β 

I hail from a teeny tiny backwater town with a population size less than some high schools. In this little southern hole in the wall, marriage is a HUGE deal. Wedding season gives everyone something to do, and more people to talk about along with a reason to dress up that isnt going to church. Most people around here seem to think that if you arent married, living in a two-story house with a white picket fence, adopting a Pomeranian, and working on number two of your 2.5 kids by age thirty, you’re destined to die alone. Now, when I say thirty, I really mean twenty – five, because thats about the time the beloved elderly of the town start hinting around that the best days are behind you and “honey you arent getting any younger!” Closing in on my twenties, people seem to think its about time me and my boyfriend get settled down and start making babies. I know, I know most girls would be jumping for joy.Β Marriage, yay gimmie that rock! Nope. Not me. You see, even though my boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years, I dont want him to pop the question, and thats okay.

It seems these days I can’t even walk into the local Piggly Wiggly without at least five people asking me when my boyfriend is finally going to pop the question and then giving me advice on how to raise my future children. That daily conversation makes me want to puke. Dont get me wrong, I love my boyfriend and yes we will probably get married at some point, but are you all forgetting that twenty is still young? Im barley a sophomore in college! I have things to do and places to see. I am NOT ready to settle into the married life.

Now, I know what youre thinking, Can’t you do things and see places with a husband by your side? The answer is, yes, I could but I dont want to. Im still figuring out things about myself and learning who I want to be, I dont want to have to juggle a mortgage, car payments, and a husband when I can barely handle taking care of myself. And you know what, thats okay.

I want everyone to realize that it’s not 1950. My best days arent passing me by, they’re barely getting started. I have a lot of living to do and a lot of things to figure out before I settle down. So many girls are too focused on getting their significant other to pop the question as soon as possible, and thats fine, if youre ready for it. We as women need to be 100% secure in our futures and ourselves before we decide to drag someone else into our lives to handle it all. My running motto for marriage is that I’ll have a college degree in one hand, and a paycheck from my first job in the other before I say those vows. No, Im not crazy. I just dont want my boyfriend to propose, and thats okay.

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