Working at a minimum wage job is a right of passage that I firmly believe everyone should have to suffer through. Whether it’s babysitting, a gas station, Chick-fil-A, or your local clothing store I’m sure you’ve found yourself gainfully employed performing mind-numbing tasks all day long with a big fake smile plastered on your face. While we are all extremely thankful for these jobs, I mean a girls gotta eat, we also want to bang our heads against the nearest wall when the schedule comes out each week letting us know just how many monotonous hours we will be working. Here are some thoughts that every (myself definitely included) minimum wage employee has.
1. Are you seriously waiting for me to open?
This one really gets to me. The store hours clearly state that we open at 10 a.m. Not 9:50 a.m. Not 9:55 a.m. Waiting outside the door staring into the store isn’t going to make me open it any faster. I have to be here for eight hours ma’am; those five minutes are precious.
2. Please control your children!
Look, I get that kids are tough. I know that when you bring them in the door things are about to get interesting but honestly, letting little Johnny lick the dressing room mirror and run up and down my aisles is not okay. Control your kids!
3. I definitely don’t get paid enough for this.
I get paid $7.25 an hour to do this job. I do not get paid enough for all of the additives that come with it. I don’t get paid enough to deal with screaming children, or screaming customers, or screaming employees (happens more than you think). Mrs. Mabel who always buys the wrong size and then proceeds to yell at me because her dress didn’t fit and somehow that must be my fault is definitely above my pay grade.
4. I don’t make the prices!
Yes I do realize that $49.95 is a little pricy for that top and sure I wish it was cheaper but I do not set the prices. No matter how much you yell at me, or plead with me, I cannot change that amount. Really, I’m sorry ma’am, but dropping 1,000 hints isn’t gonna give me the authority to give you a discount.
5. No, I can’t give you a discount.
Why does everyone even ask that question? Do you really think that I can grant discounts to whomever I like? If the business system where I work were that faulty it wouldn’t exist in the first place. I barely get a discount myself and I will not risk my measly 20 percent off by saving you a couple of bucks. So sorry.
6. Is that clock moving backwards?
I promise you I have been here for at least four hours! The clock is lying to me. No? Well then it has to be moving slower just to taunt me.
7. You’ve got to be kidding me!
Yeah, I know this one is a little vague but trust me it is oh so true. This expression flits through my mind at least 100 times, and that’s just in the first hour. When that obnoxious tweeny-bopper tried on everything in the store then proceeded to buy nothing, or when the 60-year-old grandma sternly told me that it was my fault her washing machine tore the shirt she just bought, “you’ve got to be kidding me,” was the nicest thing I could think.
8. I definitely deserve a raise.
We all think this one, especially after a particularly trying day. After all of the crap that we get put through during those never-ending eight hours we all deserve a raise.
9. Don’t come in here don’t come in here don’t come in here!
This is my personal favorite. Nothing can set me off faster than when someone comes in the door five minutes before closing time and makes me stay over. The sign clearly says we close at 6pm. You can’t tell me you didn’t see it! Its time for me to get out of here and I don’t have time to watch you walk aimlessly through the store when I should be closing up.
10. I love my job.
Yeah I know this one is a little far-fetched but it does happen. Even though I want to pull my hair out more often than not, I still love my job. If it weren’t for this godforsaken place I would be high tailing my butt back to mom and dads and begging grandma for some cash to pay my dues. So thank you stupid job.
Now, I want to give a big shout-out to all of the minimum wage workers out there. Our jobs are pretty trying most of the time, but we have to admit, we’re grateful. Try and not let the trials that customers, employees, and even bosses put you through get to your head too much. Trust me, I understand exactlywhat you’re thinking.