One word: People pleaser. Here lately I feel like I’ve been juggling 1,000 things and slowly sinking into the quicksand that is my people pleasing tendencies. If you’re like me, you feel the inherent need to have everyone like you, creating an impossible situation for yourself and your non-exsistant sleep schedule.
People like us seem to have a problem saying no. So, we take on anything and everything that anyone throws at us and pretend like we aren’t drowning. The truth is, we are up to our eyeballs in tasks and our planners can’t possibly handle any more appointments. So, for those of you that also feel the need to people please, this is for you. Here are a few words of wisdom to the stressed, the tired, and the overworked.
1. SAY NO.
Yeah, I know this seems easy but it is most definitely not. People like us feel like we should be a part of every committee, and every activity, and any team. This is not the case. We are precariously balancing our own crazy lives and trying to find the calm before the storm of the next thing we have to do. Then, us crazy people, decide to plan a party, and serve at a soup kitchen, and make it to Kacey’s birthday dinner all in one day. We have got to learn to say no. It’s just two little letters that are more intimidating than that ten-page research paper that you haven’t even started. I promise, no one will get mad, the world won’t implode, and you won’t sit at home with nothing else to do. So learn to say no.
2. Take a break.
So, obviously if you suffer from people pleasing syndrome you’re not going to be able to say no for everything. When the time comes, just take a break. Give yourself a few days to breathe, to contemplate, to regroup. Put the planner away. (No, you won’t die, yes it’ll be okay.) No planning, no helping, no running errands. Take a breather and focus on yourself. When you’re charged and ready to go again, then you can get back to your crazy life of pleasing. You can’t give every task the 100% that you want to if you aren’t at 100% yourself.
3. Give yourself some credit.
If you’re a people pleaser then you are also most likely a masochist. It is okay to give yourself a pat on the back after you ace that test or throw that amazing event. It’s not other peoples job to praise your efforts, it’s your job to praise yourself, and that’s okay. You’re allowed to feel like you done well. In order to be happy and keep from completely going insane with your crazy life, you have to appreciate you.
So, all you tired, you stressed, and you overworked people pleasers out there, take my advice. I know you have three exams to study for, and two papers to write, and a philanthropy event to plan, but take a step back and just breathe. I promise you can get back to the planner tomorrow.